Ok…so if you can’t tell by the little ticker weight gadget thing-a-ma-bob(courtesy of www.myfitnesspal.com ) at the top of this page I am on the road to weight loss. If you want you can join me on this journey and in this post I am going to share my first day:
A dear friend from church has been encouraging me for awhile to workout with her at the gym. She knew it was something I wanted to do and I think she also knew it was something that just intimidated the stuff right out of me. It was something I had tried before and failed at miserably.
Not a big fan of failures, especially repeating them.
So suddenly there is this desire to stop wishing for my outside to match my inside but to actually start actively pursuing it. Stop wishing that Walmart would get some of the cute little person clothes (read: anything size 18 or smaller) in plus sizes and just get to a size that can wear them off the rack. Stop wishing my kids would settle down and start having the energy to engage them. To stop being less then God made me to be and start being the best weapon in His arsenal, to do that I don’t have to be skinny but I do need to be healthy. To stop being the butt of my own jokes to offset my insecurity. I just needed to start moving so I could start stopping all these things. So I could start being a better example to my kids, to hopefully start teaching them the way to eat at 6 and 2 so that when it may become an issue it won’t be because they’ll already eat the right way.
So I took a leap and took this dear friend up on her offer to workout together. As I was getting ready and heading there I had about 4 times that I just felt like bawling my eyes out. The little doubter inside me questioning what it was exactly I was hoping to prove. Did I really think that THIS time would be any different then the last 20? I had tried before and was obviously much better at being fluffy then I could even hope to be at getting fit. As I started to believe and agree with what I was telling myself I prayed that God please give me the strength, the tenacity and the ability to do this, to be more then I was now. To silence that doubter and replace with an “I can” voice.
I was reminded of this verse:
Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
So though I was still afraid (and feel silly saying so – afraid of exercise really?) and still had doubts, overwhelming all that was this feeling that this time would be different. THIS time I was not doing it alone. THIS time I was doing it with God and with God ALL things are possible. Including the things I had failed at alone before.
As I am walking into the Y a Christian friend drives past me waving, I saw 3 friends within 2 minutes of going inside and my dear friend was there to not only pooh pooh my fears but to insist that I do the ELLIPTICAL TRAINER and not the treadmill for 15 minutes. She hopped on the one next to mine and though the first 5 minutes were (I am certain) life threatening, we got so caught up in talking that the next thing I know she’s saying we’re done and we went and had coffee with another friend. God sent me someone to be the “I can” voice that I couldn’t be for myself, that sees in me the things I can’t yet.
Change is hard…God is GOOD.
So…tomorrow’s goal…20 minutes on the ELLIPTICAL TRAINER!