Sunday, May 12, 2013

Is Angry ok?


It's something we all feel at some point.  The pure anger we feel when someone we love is wronged or threatened.  Sometimes anger is justified and needed.  It fuels us forward to do what is right.

Sometimes it's not.  That's the dangerous kind of anger.  The one that gives the devil the foothold we are warned about in Ephesians 4:26-27 "Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life."(Message).  

I'm guilty of it.  The anger about why things aren't going the way they're supposed to.  The frustration when it seems God is not following "our" plan.  These are some of the questions I find myself asking myself - since I have the most sympathy for me:

"Why did this happen to me?"
"Why can't I do that?"
"Why am I being punished, overlooked, hurt?"
"Why don't I matter in the scheme of things?"

Sadly I confess it's been a really hard struggle for me lately.  There are things going on in my life right now that are so far outside what I would've ever considered "my path" that I feel some days like I am choking on the anger they can stir.  I just had one of those days recently and for the first time in awhile once my house was quiet I went to Bible Gateway to see what the Bible says about anger.  Instead of wallowing and ignoring I choose to go to the handbook God's left me here on Earth to get through these things.

You see I thought anger was by itself bad.  It's one of those words you whisper but not to anyone that might think poorly of you.  Heaven forbid anyone realize I have real things going on and have real emotions about them.  Oh what a scandal to find out that I am a God-Fearing, Loved-by-God in spite of it, human being.  Thankfully some of the first verses God showed me were about being angry but not letting it control you or make decisions for you.  That sometimes in anger you need to just stop and meditate on the Lord, and be still. (Psalm 4:4 NKJV)

I am ashamed of my anger.  It's like a poison.  I have ignored it so long that now I can get angry at being angry.  There are layers to peel away and I am working on them one by one.  What I am now doing different is asking God to show me the things I am ignoring. That's such a scary request but nonetheless necessary.  There are things I know I've intentionally blocked and I've gotten so good at ignoring/blocking them for so long that now that as the ice is cracking, and things are bubbling up, my mind is terrified of what's beneath because in all sincerity I don't remember it all.  I just remember that I don't want to remember, to own up, to admit those things that were to painful for me to sort out at the time.  It was easier for me to turn on my "Happy Christian" smile and do some standard Christian phrases:

"It's in God's Hands"
"God's will be done"
"I know God has a plan and a purpose for me"

All of them true but not heartfelt at the time.  Rather than  face up and say, " I am mad. I am angry.  I don't know how to handle it.  I don't know how to be mad about this.  This is not fair and I am mad and I am stuck in this angry place and I have no idea why God has allowed this to happen to me.  I was being such a good Christian."

I am realizing that right now to some extent the anger is protecting me.  I can't keep it there forever.  It's a cancer that I need to be taking steps to remove.  I am.  If I were to remove it all at once though, if I even had that ability, it would be like ripping off the bandages of a life-threatening wound.  It would leave me too raw and defenseless.  To some extent by peeling off 1 layer at a time I am allowing myself to prepare for what's coming next.  Allowing myself a moment to realize that peeling off the last layer may have stung a bit but it didn't kill me.

So..."Is Angry ok?"

I think so.  Sometimes it's necessary... a protective shield to help us sort out the things we can't all at once.  I can honestly say I know God is with me.  Psalm 118:6 tells me, "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear.  What can man do to me?" NKJV God is in my corner.  He knew this was coming and has put things in place to help me through.  I will not lash out in anger, I will not allow this to control my life and I will not allow myself to hide because of it.  I will face it, come out stronger, more self assured and closer to the Lord.

So I ask you this question: How do you handle your anger?

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Stop Nagging - Encourage your kids independence AND Clean your house...

I believe they call it a win win win situation

If you have kids and you want them to do chores without having to sit on them and constantly nag this Chore System for the Kids over at "Home Made by Carmona" is the place to go.

Home Made by Carmona button
She has a lot of neat prinables and
good  DIY and organization tips.
Before this I was at my wits end with Katie.  Actually had hubby talk to her a couple times because it was taking her 3 hours to do a 15 minute job.  I needed something that would allow her to be independant, would allow me to step back and retire my "Nag of the Year" title and would leave both of us happy and feeling like something was accomplished.

That's when (thanks to Pinterest) I stumbled across Carmona's chore list.  It's GREAT!  This is a wonderful system that you can customize to fit your children's ages, needs etc.  I made one for Katie's Morning routine (before tv can be turned on) one for her evening routine (before tv or ds can be played) and one for her daily chores.  She's really doing well on it and even managed to clean their bathroom rather well (she's "letting" me do the toilet and the tub).  Company could come over, close their eyes, be guided through the house to the guest bath and open their eyes IN THE GUEST BATH.  The rest of the house is not quite so company ready.  Her room is also so much more neat and clean.  She's 7 in 2 weeks folks and kicking housecleaning butt.  I believe this system helps keep her focused and on task while allowing me to step back.  She understands that she can not do electronics/play before her work is done.  What is truly awesome is that this morning as she did her chores and I did mine we were a team.  It was a good feeling.  I could also tell she was very proud that she had accomplished her list and that she had done so without my having to scold, rub my temples while counting to ten or threaten to throw every electronic away.  It has really made the entire process much more peaceful in our house.

So did you use it or do you have a similar system?  How is it working for you? or do you need something like this in your home to help things go smoother?

God Bless!

Friday, February 22, 2013

Linked with the "More then Mommies Mixer"

Good Morning,

I am doing a link up party this morning and would encourage ya'll to go take a look.  It's a great oppurtunity to see some good blogs out there that you may not stumble across otherwise.

You know me I am all for mommy power!  They are hosting link up parties every other Friday so hop on over there and link up or just check out some of the blogs that have. 

God Bless!

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I did a Pinterest Pin!

And I am afraid I only took the AFTER pics.  With how easy these were to make though I am sure more are coming and next time I'll try to go bit by bit.

I made my girls each a Valentines Day Outfit.  I got the every so simple tutorial for the circle dress at Crafterhours Blog.  Her tip to google the answer to figuring out the radius was pure genius and I am sure it saved a couple brain cells.  The only thing I did different is I did a thick black elastic waist instead of the knit waist - mostly because my fabric is cotton and doesn't have the same give.  It still looks nice though and because it's a thick elastic and black it looks like it's a natural waist to the skirt.

Gee You think with the way they're posing they might be sisters?  I ended up adding some black leggings and plan to do a few more little tweaks to really personalize it but both dd's really like their outfits and are even more tickled that mommy made it for them.  I'll add the actual V_day shot that will have hair done and ready to go.  I am making some hair accessories and adding a few rosettes and the like.  Their shirts were extremely easy with some Heat&Bond Ultrahold...NO SEWING.  I just did a straight stitch around the edge to make it look more custom but absolutely not necessary,  To get my hearts and lettering I just got the look I wanted in word, outline only and printed it out.  VOILA...So.  EASY!!
Emi mad is so funny.
Aren't they adorable?

So have you been inspired to actually make something off of Pinterest lately?

Also making a matching mommy shirt (no circle skirt for these hips...I'm on a budget.)I'll post it when I finish it up.  Alrighty - Off I go!!

God Bless!

Sunday, February 10, 2013

My Girls, Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

As my "babies" birthday's approach (they are 4 years 4 days apart so I get to get all my mushy nostalgic stuff out in one great big gush each year) I keep having flashbacks.  Katie will be turning 7 and Emily will be turning 3 and most of their baby is gone.

Katie at about 9 months old.
Look at her hair!
My oldest Katie was a happy baby.  She hit the ground running.  Unlike most babies she was not (and never has been) one to test the water before she jumped in feet first.  She rolled, sat, crawled, pulled up and started walking all with seemingly no effort.  She did not rock in the crawl position and then tentatively take off.  She decided one day she would crawl and then she did.  She decided to walk and she did.  The dear girl even decided one day she would be a "big girl" and pee pee in the potty a month shy of turning 2 and with the exception of a few expected accidents she did.  A method that has worked well in some ways and in others I have to remind her that she has not always been able to do everything.  Some things have to be learned and practiced to gain skill.

As she's gotten older she has blossomed into a girl that loves life and everyone that's blessed her by being in it.  She's smart, kind, patient, has a magic touch with her younger sister and is the friend that cries because your crying.  She loves bows, makeup (for play only - though it does not stop her from trying to talk me into letting her wear it "out"), dresses and painting her nails in unique and exciting ways (thank you pinterest :) ).  She likes to do all those delightfully girly things but she also likes to go outback and literally become a mud monster with her friends, see who can catch the most lizards and have races with her friends regardless of how sweaty she gets.  She is goofy, loves to make anyone laugh and will stick up for a friend even if it costs her "cool points.  She has a tender heart and wears it boldly on her sleeve.  She has never met a stranger a fact that reminds me of my Papa and terrifies me at the same time.  Don't get me wrong...she's not perfect.  She's almost 7, it's unfair she has to do ALL the chores around here (yes I let her live after that statement), the same drive that had her just crawling away from me one day with no warning can frustrate her when math does not just come easy and she is often has to be reminded that life is not fair - nor has anyone promised it would be.  She's getting to a sharing stage and we are having more real life conversations.  We talk about her life, my life, the things we have going on and how they make us feel.  Most school days we have 30 minutes of just curling up on the couch watching TV and it's a special "us" time.

She's holding "Jingles"
who she still adores today.
Emily was a surprise.  We had decided Katie would be our only and accepted it, fully prepared to be a family of 3 and VOILA I discovered I was pregnant.  Both my hubby and Katie did a happy dance when the ultrasound determined that "it" would be a girl (Katie doesn't understand why people want to have boys) .  Katie had the final choice on Emily's name and it fits her perfectly.  Emily is more tentative and wants to test the water 2-3 times before she jumps in.  She has never been in a hurry to grow up and has taken each milestone gradually.  Unlike Katie, when Emily decided to crawl we knew for weeks it was coming because she started by getting on her hands and knees.  Once she had that down she started to rock, once she could do that without tumbling we had our first couple attempts at moving around.  Though unlike Katie who was content to stay within the limits we set for her, Emily has pushed against the lines from the minute she was expected to stay in them. 

I think if Emily had been our first born she would definitely be more of a hide behind mommy kind of kid but with her Big sis grabbing her and dragging her into the limelight she's had no choice but to adapt.  She's full of life and demands a smile from anyone she sees.  At almost 3 years old she has the ability to melt your heart and I am 95% sure she's becoming very aware of that ability.  She is someone that feels 150% and shows it.  When she's happy she glows, when she's mad you can almost hear the thunder roar, there is never any guess work what she's feeling  or why.  At almost 3 she's got (at least her mommy thinks so) an impressive vocabulary and loves to encourage anyone she thinks needs it.  She's also at that fun (insert tone dripping in sarcasm here) age of tattling and her favorite target is Katie.  She's my cuddle bug and as much as Katie likes to curl up with her daddy after a long day or run errands with him, Emily prefers her mommy most days and while she's getting to the "let me me do it!" age, she still thrilled to see me whether I've been gone 5 minutes or all day.

The two of them together are amazing.  I don't think they yet fully realize their power.  When is comes to Katie - Emily prefers no one else.  She will tell you "Sissy is my bes fren" and if you want to know all of Emily's most recent accomplishments then just ask Katie.  She'll list them off.

They love to play together and Emily adores the challenge that is keeping up with Katie.  Katie on the other hand is developing the patience only a sister can inspire a need for and will go slower so that Emily can feel like she's keeping up.

Great Example of Goofiness!
So that's enough of my waxing poetic.  They are my darlings.  Such a great example of something I ask God for and he did not just fill my cup but overflowed it.  They breathe possibility into my day every day.  I love them with all my heart and I as much as I miss their baby days I am thrilled to watch them develop into such wonderful girls.  Independent even if it breaks my heart, kind, loving, strong, patient, full of life and willing to stand up for each other.  They are amazing girls and as I mourn what won't be again, I will also look forward to what's coming.  Holding on with both hands I gladly go on this adventure with them.

What's changing in a good way for you?  

God Bless!

ETA: Katie read this post out loud before I posted it and her cheeks turned an adorable shade of red when she got to the point I was telling everyone about her pee-peeing in the potty.  Priceless.