Thursday, October 29, 2015

Me and my internet



Anyone There?

At this point I'm pretty sure I'm typing to myself.  I guess to begin on the road of blogger, and stop just flirting with it, I have to be ok with that.  IF there is someone reading... I'm so glad you stopped by and I hope you can relate to my blog or it gives you insight... or just makes you LOL.  Tell a friend.  Tweet about it, I've heard the word "Twerk" but I'm not the hippest lingo mom and I'm not sure what that means.  It sounds dirty.  If it's not, go ahead and twerk the heck out of my blog.

I wish I could tell you that I come here everyday... but some days I struggle to shower.  On those days I'm going to pick shower over blog... It's necessary.  I am going to try for closer then 2-4 months though.  I like imagining people from everywhere reading what I write and getting a sense of company.  The amazing Jenny Lawson, author of "Furiously Happy" says that there is a tribe of mentally ill people (I think mostly women because men really don't like to share their feelings) that are united by the internet.  We can cheer each other on, empathize for a rough day or just shoot an emoji at someone that is weighing on our mind.  

It's over the internet because Internet(that's the internet's name after all) doesn't judge us.  I We can have Dorito cheesy fingers and still be in our PJ's at 2pm and Internet is still a gracious host.  Usually.  Occasionally Internet can be a brat and go out for no explainable reason causing me to have a small panic attack as I think of 50 million reasons I need the internet NOW.  I can tell you from personal experience unplugging, counting to 30 and then plugging it back in is some morbid ritual the bored techs at the cable company thought of to make their jobs more fun, "Ms. Holt, It's Bob again.  I know you've tried this 49,999 times but I can see nothing else wrong.  So I have something else that may work.  Please unplug (snicker) you're internet again (snicker snicker), rub the box on your head, twirl it like a basketball on one finger(snort, cough), rub the box on your butt till it's nice and toasty and then plug it back in.  That worked?  Great!! Thank You for choosing our cable service," and all you hear is like 15 people laughing as you hang up.... That's what I imagine sometimes.  One day I'm going to get that Bob.  Okay... maybe it wasn't 49,999 attempts and I may be exaggerating a smidge on what "Bob" ask me to do but it feels like it occasionally... especially when it takes longer than 30 minutes to fix itself.  Internet is oxygen some days.

Typical me note: I didn't write down a single of those "things" that were of serious importance, so now I can't remember what I needed to do and will now go window shop at .  They have tons of stuff I want need.  I'm pretty sure I've earned it.  The other stuff I'll remember eventually.  Right?

Melissa H

P.s. After I posted I realized that I was not clear in one section of this post... I take SHOWERS every 3-5 DAYS.  I hope to increase my BLOGGING frequency to more then my current average of 2-4 MONTHS.  Totally being honest about the showers.  Hubs keeps track and will remind me.  I hope that made someone say phew.  

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