The time is getting closer to my grandma's memorial and I am dreading it with every ounce of my body. There is a part of me that knows I need to go. To say Good-bye to such a major influence and part of my life, but then there is a part of my that wants to run and hide. Make up some excuse why I can't go, as if by avoiding it all together I can avoid the pain I have been flirting with all week.
I am going by myself. I know that will be frowned on by some but Matt was willing to do whatever I wanted. With our usual babysitter out of town until 1/10 or going to this memorial I decided to have him stay with the girls. I will feel better he's home and will have everyone under control and in bed by the time I get home. I won't have to worry about it.
I am trying to lay all of this in God's hands. I need to let go of it first so he can actually take it from me.