It amazes me that at the ripe young age of thirty-ish the solace I found last night crying on my daddy's shoulder. My heart was finally given permission to mourn my grandma and as the saddness welled up I just walked over to my dad, laid my head down on his shoulder and bawled. He put his arm around me and softly murmured the token sayings "It's going to be ok, I know honey I know, "and it was like balm on a wound.
At a time when there are so many unknowns coming, so many "This is the first time we have done this without Gigi" coming, the comfort and strength I was able to get from my dad was soothing. It was my constant in a storm. A lighthouse that was always been there to keep me from crashing into the rocks. So often not realizing how badly you need it until suddenly you do, and like any good constant he has always been there.
When I was younger, he kept me off the rocks with a stern look and then a deserved spanking. As I grew, precious priveleges were suspended - things like "No TV or Friends for a week" almost comical now at how life ending and harsh it seemed to teenage me... Then as I grew up and started to flirt with adulthood his tone changed. Acknowledging that he had to let me hit the rocks a couple times but always putting a cushion around me so that I would merely get bruised and not broken. Never wanting a life lesson to do me permanent harm and feeling it as his own when it did.
I believe that as parents we are our children's first glimpse of God. His Love, His Mercy and His firm hand when necessary. During the most troubled time of my life, teenage hood, my dad and mom had to put me into a hospital and as we were driving there I angrily said I was going to run away again the first chance I got. My dad very camly turned around and said "I want to catch you more then you want to run". He gave me a glimpse of God's love then and has been an awesome example of it my entire life.
Thanks to my dad's love I have no problem counting on God's love to be there and comfort me. I am forever grateful for my daddy's arms and the security, unconditional love, and laughter we have shared all these years.